How to be thirty-fourbulous!

Hello October! Hello birthday month! It's hard to believe how quickly this year has passed. When I look back at what I have achieved this passed year, my heart sinks a little. I spent most of the year rushing from point A to point B...barely keeping my head above the water. This made me think about what I want to achieve in my thirty-fourth year. I want to make this year count. I want to make a difference in someones life. I want to be the best person I can be.

A goal without a plan is just a wish

- Unknown 

Over the last few months, I've been reading a lot about the Proverb 31 women. She seems like the perfect wife, mother and member of the community. I've really struggled getting my head around all that this woman can do and achieve. She sets the benchmark pretty darn high. But then I realised that being a P31 woman is not about being perfect, it's about living with purpose. It's about living a life with my focus on the one who is perfect - Jesus. So, I have resolved to get the "order" right in my house again - first God, then my hunkastudmuffin husband, then my children and then my extended family and friends. When God is at the head of your family, everything will fall into place. I have resolved to spend my quiet time with Him every morning, to start my day off right and press "reset" on my heart every day, so that I can be the wife, mother and community member that He intended me to be.

This year I have also set myself a few other goals. As you all know from my previous blogs, I have gotten a team of ladies together and we are going to take part in the Gajiga Run (previously known as the Hamba Run) when it comes to Cape Town. It's a 5km run that has 7 inflatable obstacles over the course. It looks like tons of fun. You can get a 5% discount off your entry fee when using my discount code (LieshenSmit01) when you purchase your entry online here. #teamfattiesforfurries then gets a small amount which we will then donate to HART (Helderberg Animal Rescue Team). This race covers two of the goals that I have set myself - fitness and giving back to the community.

In preparation for the Gajiga Run, I want to walk 3-5 times a week with my friends (who happen to be part of #teamfattiesforfurries). I use the Runkeeper app to keep track of my pace, time and distance that we walk. I would like to aim to get my pace to under 10min per km. With my last walk, we averaged a pace of 11:23per km. I have a long way to go...but I am motivated to keep going. I also want to start doing parkrun again on a regular basis. Somerset West has it's very own parkrun now. We are situated between Somerset West parkrun and Root 44 parkrun, so we really are spoilt for choice. I just want to get a tad bit fitter though before attempting Root 44 as that incline is a killer!

In the year ahead I also want to focus more on celebrating non-scale victories. So, instead of measuring my achievement by what the digits on the scale says, to rather consider improving my pace while walking or dropping a dress size a victory. To this end, I will only be weighing myself once a month. Those digits don't define my worth and I have allowed the fear of them to control me for far too long.

These are just a few points in my plan to make my thirty fourth year fabulous. My plan is a work in progress...just as I am. But one thing I know for sure: every morning I open my eyes is another opportunity that God has granted me to be a better and happier version of who I was the day before and I fully intend to make the most of it and be thirty-fourbulous!

Happy birthday to me!

Until next time
XX-L

Team #FATTIESFORFURRIES

Exercise does not come naturally to me. I am not a natural athlete in the least. My body shape is not conducive to running at all. A close friend of mine once said that should she try and run, a natural disaster might occur somewhere. I'm afraid to say I fear the same would happen should I try and run.

However, with any healthy lifestyle, exercise is vital. You'll remember that when I started blogging, I used to walk with an amazing group of ladies every morning. It was my therapy and I felt amazing when the endorphins kicked in. When I stop working at the end of this month, we have decided to take up our morning walks again. The best way to stay active is by making it fun and doing it with friends!

Recently the Hamba Run page caught my attention on Facebook. It looks like amazing fun. It's a fun, fresh 5km fun run with 7 massive inflatable obstacles en route. The Hamba Run is hosting events all over South Africa, starting with their inaugural one at the Riversands Farmers Market in Jo'burg on the 27th of November. The Hamba run is for anyone from the age of 4 years and up! There is no mud, no water, no colour powders, no super human power required, no time restrictions. Just pure fun!

The girls and I have decided that instead of aimlessly doing out walks every morning, we have set ourselves the goal to take part in the Paarl event which will take place in March 2017. That gives us a good 6 months to get a bit fitter and into better shape.

Who doesn't love a challenge?

On top of getting our butts in gear over the next 6 months we have decided to do a bit of fund raising for a local cause - HART (Helderberg Animal Rescue Team). Over the next 6 months we will get people to pledge money for each member of our #teamfattiesforfurries that crosses the finish line of the Paarl Hamba Run. If you would like to join #teamfattiesforfurries, please leave a comment below or send me an inbox message on the Tights & Tekkies facebook page.

You can also help! If you are planning to take part in any of the Hamba Runs in South Africa, you can use my unique code 'LieshenSmit01' when purchasing your tickets. This will allow you a 5% discount on your entry and we will receive a small amount in aid of HART. Tickets are available on their website www.hambarun.co.za

Watch this space for updates on how our training and prep is going over the next few months!

Until next time

XX-L

Emotional Eating

For those of you who have followed my blog and facebook post from the beginning, you will know that I am a terrible emotional eater. I literally eat for every emotion that there is. When I'm sad, I eat (chocolate). When I'm stressed, I eat (niknaks). When I'm tired, I eat (junk food). When I'm happy, I eat (cake). When I've achieved something, I eat (cake).

Recently our family grew by one furchild - Zoë, the Rhodesian ridgeback. Over the passed few weeks, Zoë and I have been attending puppy school to gain a few basic puppy manners. The method that we use is positive reinforcement using treats. So, I tell Zoë to sit...she sits...she gets a treat and loads of praise and loves. This got me thinking about a quote I recently saw on Pinterest:

By using food as my therapy tool or reward over the passed year, I have not only done emence physical damage to my body through weight gain (we are what we eat, after all). But the additional emotional baggage that has come with the extra kilos has also been enormous. I don't like going out as much as I used to. I constantly feel like people are staring at me or talking about me because I am so large. My moods fluctuate with my sugar levels, which hasn't been an easy rollercoaster ride for my family. I'm impatient and irritable with my kiddos. Generally speaking, it's not a pretty picture.

So, one of my first steps that I need to take on this journey to becoming healthier, is to stop feeding my emotions. I need to learn to recognise the difference between physical or true hunger and emotional hunger. I found this table below which sums it up beautifully:

A few things that I can do instead of shoveling a piece of cake into my mouth or inhaling a slab of chocolate would be:
1. Go for a walk - ie. physically remove yourself from the temptation that is infront of you. When Zoë is a bit older, she will become one of the girls in our morning walking group.
2. Talk to a friend - I have started a whatsapp group with a few friends and Tights & Tekkies readers where we support and encourage each otherr on our journey to becoming healthier. This is also where we hold each other accountable.
3. Journal or write down what you are feeling or thinking. That it how Tights & Tekkies came about.
4. Drink some water.
5. Have a relaxing bubble bath / shower.
6. Paint your nails.
7. Listen to your favourite song. Why not dance to your favourite song while you're at it and burn off a few extra calories?
8. Organise something - that junk drawer in the kitchen, your clothes, your linen cupboard, the kids toys...
9. Clean the house or do some gardening.
10.Search pinterest for positive, motivating quotes.

It's OK to have the occassional treat. A small square of 90% cocoa chocolate is GOOD for you. We must just be mindful of WHY we are eating it.

My goal over the next week is to make a conserted effort to differentiate between physical and emotional hunger every time I consider putting something into my mouth to eat. I need ask myself if this food that I am about to consume is feul or is it therapy. If the anwer is therapy, then I need to put it down and find something else to do to occupy my mind and hands until the urge or craving passes.

Until next time,
XX-L

SAHM vs Working Mom

As a stay at home mom (SAHM), I was quite judgemental of how some working moms did things or how they raised their children. How could any mom stand to be away from her small children for up to 12 hours a day? How could they entrust those little beings into someone elses care? It's easy to look at those working moms from the comfort of your home and judge them....until you become one of them.

 After being at home with my children for 5 years and 8 months (to the day), it was time for me to return to the work force and I got a taste of what a mom who works full time outside of the home's life is like. Now, after a year on the other side of the fence, I can honestly say that I have experienced the good and the bad of both being a SAHM as well as being a working mom.

As a working mom you can establish yourself as a separate entity. I am no longer just Master J or Miss E's mom, I am Lieshen, the accounts administrator. I have a mission to compete each day. I know, raising my children is one of my greatest missions in life...but it is also nice to be defined as something else other than "just a mom". I have a purpose to fulfil outside of the home, beside being a 24 hour maid, jungle gym, referee, councillor....although as a working mom, when you get home, you are still all of these things.

I can contribute financially to my family. That was always one of my biggest "gripes" as a SAHM. I hated having to ask my husband if I could buy this or do that. Now, I earn my own salary, and although we don't differentiate between "yours and mine", it is nice to know that I am able to pay for all my children's extra mural activities from my salary.

One of the biggest perks for me, after being at home with the kids, was the novelty of having a whole hour lunch break all to myself. To do with whatever I pleased. I will admit to having grand designs at the beginning of going for manicures and pedicures or a massage every so often, until
I realised that a) most of these treatments take 60min or longer and b) ones salary doesn't last very long when indulging in such things. So, I have settled for enjoying a hot, quiet cup of coffee at a nice coffee shop occasionally or being able to do a quick grocery shop on my own. And, of course, the ultimate bonus of being a working mom after being a SAHM: I get to enjoy a loo break, unaccompanied with no audience.

However, being away from my children also has many down sides. I have a long commute into work each morning, so leave really early and only get home quite late. This time sitting in traffic could be used for so many better things like doing that pile of laundry, helping one of my kiddos with something or just playing Lego with them.

Our morning and evening routines are one big rush to get everyone fed and dressed and off to school or to get the little ones bathed and into bed before it's too late. Often as a working mom, I only see the worst of my children - the tired, moany ones I deal with during crisis hour in the evenings. The people who spend time with them at school or creche are the ones that see my happy children.

As a mom of a school going child, I have also missed certain school related activities. A perfect example would be today: Master J's school has a termly "Time out afternoon" when all the children finish school early and there are no extra mural activities that afternoon. Parents are encouraged to take the afternoon off work and spend time together as a family doing something fun...and preferably device free. I think it's a fabulous initiative. However, neither the husband nor I could get the afternoon off, so Master J went to aftercare as normal. The school organised a special afternoon for the children whose parents couldn't fetch them early. But, when Auntie Puppy got to school at 4pm to fetch him, he was only one of two kids left at school. I felt TERRIBLE to say the least....
It has been Master J's first year at his new school and because of my working hours I have not been able to do much of the school run in the mornings or collecting in the afternoons. Due to this, I have also not gotten to know many of the moms from his class or the children (his friends) in his class.

Children get sick. Usually on a Monday or Friday. So, often you feel conflicted about taking time off work because what if your boss (who has no children) thinks you're a slacker? But you can't and don't want to leave your sick baby in the care of someone else. You only get 3 days of compassionate leave a year and we all know most children get sick more than 3 times a year!

And then there is that occasion when your child needs you, his mom. In our case, it's been the "diagnosis" or Master J's lazy left eye, which needs eye therapy weekly and daily eye exercises. As well as having to start occupational therapy with him again for his sensory integration disorder and to try to give him the best possible start to Grade 1 next year. As a mom, I want to be "hands on", but with the work and commuting putting severe time constraints on my day, it is nearly impossible and I've had to reply on other people (to whom I'll be eternally grateful) to fetch and carry him to therapy and do his exercises with him.

As a parent my biggest responsibility is to raise my child to be the best person he can be and to become the person God intended him to be. This has led me to decide to leave the work force and to become a stay at home mom once again. To put my selfish desires to one side for the benefit of my children. So as from 1 October I will be fulfilling my role as SAHM once more. This time with a better understanding of what a working mom's life is like and a greater appreciation for the time I get to spend with my children while they are still young.

Until next time,
XX-L