SAHM vs Working Mom

As a stay at home mom (SAHM), I was quite judgemental of how some working moms did things or how they raised their children. How could any mom stand to be away from her small children for up to 12 hours a day? How could they entrust those little beings into someone elses care? It's easy to look at those working moms from the comfort of your home and judge them....until you become one of them.

 After being at home with my children for 5 years and 8 months (to the day), it was time for me to return to the work force and I got a taste of what a mom who works full time outside of the home's life is like. Now, after a year on the other side of the fence, I can honestly say that I have experienced the good and the bad of both being a SAHM as well as being a working mom.

As a working mom you can establish yourself as a separate entity. I am no longer just Master J or Miss E's mom, I am Lieshen, the accounts administrator. I have a mission to compete each day. I know, raising my children is one of my greatest missions in life...but it is also nice to be defined as something else other than "just a mom". I have a purpose to fulfil outside of the home, beside being a 24 hour maid, jungle gym, referee, councillor....although as a working mom, when you get home, you are still all of these things.

I can contribute financially to my family. That was always one of my biggest "gripes" as a SAHM. I hated having to ask my husband if I could buy this or do that. Now, I earn my own salary, and although we don't differentiate between "yours and mine", it is nice to know that I am able to pay for all my children's extra mural activities from my salary.

One of the biggest perks for me, after being at home with the kids, was the novelty of having a whole hour lunch break all to myself. To do with whatever I pleased. I will admit to having grand designs at the beginning of going for manicures and pedicures or a massage every so often, until
I realised that a) most of these treatments take 60min or longer and b) ones salary doesn't last very long when indulging in such things. So, I have settled for enjoying a hot, quiet cup of coffee at a nice coffee shop occasionally or being able to do a quick grocery shop on my own. And, of course, the ultimate bonus of being a working mom after being a SAHM: I get to enjoy a loo break, unaccompanied with no audience.

However, being away from my children also has many down sides. I have a long commute into work each morning, so leave really early and only get home quite late. This time sitting in traffic could be used for so many better things like doing that pile of laundry, helping one of my kiddos with something or just playing Lego with them.

Our morning and evening routines are one big rush to get everyone fed and dressed and off to school or to get the little ones bathed and into bed before it's too late. Often as a working mom, I only see the worst of my children - the tired, moany ones I deal with during crisis hour in the evenings. The people who spend time with them at school or creche are the ones that see my happy children.

As a mom of a school going child, I have also missed certain school related activities. A perfect example would be today: Master J's school has a termly "Time out afternoon" when all the children finish school early and there are no extra mural activities that afternoon. Parents are encouraged to take the afternoon off work and spend time together as a family doing something fun...and preferably device free. I think it's a fabulous initiative. However, neither the husband nor I could get the afternoon off, so Master J went to aftercare as normal. The school organised a special afternoon for the children whose parents couldn't fetch them early. But, when Auntie Puppy got to school at 4pm to fetch him, he was only one of two kids left at school. I felt TERRIBLE to say the least....
It has been Master J's first year at his new school and because of my working hours I have not been able to do much of the school run in the mornings or collecting in the afternoons. Due to this, I have also not gotten to know many of the moms from his class or the children (his friends) in his class.

Children get sick. Usually on a Monday or Friday. So, often you feel conflicted about taking time off work because what if your boss (who has no children) thinks you're a slacker? But you can't and don't want to leave your sick baby in the care of someone else. You only get 3 days of compassionate leave a year and we all know most children get sick more than 3 times a year!

And then there is that occasion when your child needs you, his mom. In our case, it's been the "diagnosis" or Master J's lazy left eye, which needs eye therapy weekly and daily eye exercises. As well as having to start occupational therapy with him again for his sensory integration disorder and to try to give him the best possible start to Grade 1 next year. As a mom, I want to be "hands on", but with the work and commuting putting severe time constraints on my day, it is nearly impossible and I've had to reply on other people (to whom I'll be eternally grateful) to fetch and carry him to therapy and do his exercises with him.

As a parent my biggest responsibility is to raise my child to be the best person he can be and to become the person God intended him to be. This has led me to decide to leave the work force and to become a stay at home mom once again. To put my selfish desires to one side for the benefit of my children. So as from 1 October I will be fulfilling my role as SAHM once more. This time with a better understanding of what a working mom's life is like and a greater appreciation for the time I get to spend with my children while they are still young.

Until next time,
XX-L

LCHF Meatloaf filled gem squash

My dear hubby has always been an avid foodie, but while I was a SAHM I did most of the cooking. Since I started working again he has taken over kitchen duty again. Hubby loves testing out new recipes or coming up with recipes of his own. Tonight he came up with this delicious recipe! It is completely LCHF legal. 

Ingredients:

4 large Gem squash, halved

1kg Beef mince

2 Tbspn coconut oil

1 Onion, chopped

3 Bay leaves

4-5 Cloves

1.5 c beef stock

4 Tbspn cream

1 egg

1 Tbspn psyllium husk powder

Method:

Preheat your oven to 180 degrees.

1. Boil gem squash until tender. Drain very well.

2. Fry onions in coconut oil until transparent.

3. Add mince and brown.

4. Add the bay leaves, cloves and beef stock and simmer over low heat until there is no more liquid. Set the mince aside.

5. Mix cream and egg. Add this to the mince.

6. Stir in psyllium husk powder until well combined.

7. Spoon mince into gem squash. Top with grated Parmesan cheese and bake for 15-20 minutes.

My meal plan for the week

Now that I am working full time outside of the home, I find that I need to be super organised over weekends to get everything ready for the week ahead. Over the last few weeks I have gotten into the habit of planning our meals for the following week on a Friday night. I then try to get to the shops early on a Saturday morning to get all the groceries done and then prep as many of our meals in advance for the week in order to  take a bit of stress off of me in the evenings when I get home. 

Before I started working, I doubled up on a few of our meals and popped them into the freezer. I have found this a huge help! It saves so much time in the evenings, leaving me with plenty of time to spend with my loved ones instead of slaving away in the kitchen.

This passed week I discovered a great blog called "Organize yourself skinny" (www.organizeyourselfskinny.com). The author is also a busy mom who decided to change her lifestyle for the better. On the blog she gives loads of tips on how to prepare healthy nutritious food in advance. There are some delicious looking recipes and inspiring ideas. Two of which I am going to try out this week: spiced apple oatmeal cups and salad in a jar.

I baked a batch of the spiced apple oatmeal cups this afternoon and the mere smell of them from the oven got my tummy rumbling. The recipe includes fragrant cinnamon and nutmeg, apples and chopped up walnuts. I have used pecan nuts in the ones I baked today because that's what I had in the cupboard. I will have one of these for breakfast with some yogurt. Each cup works out to 188 calories. 

For lunch I have made myself salad in a jar. It is a layered salad which is packed in a glass consol jar. I can hear you asking, "but won't the salad wilt?". The trick (apparently) lies in the layering and ensuring the jar is air tight and that it stays upright until you want to eat it so that the tomato juice and dressing doesn't touch your delicate salad greens. Once you are ready to eat, you shake it up, tip it into a bowl and voila! A healthy lunch in a few seconds! For my jars this week I have used a balsamic vinigerette and a honey and mustard dressing. Salad ingredients include tomatoes, cucumber, red onion, mini mielies, carrots, sprouts and feta. For protein I have used tuna (mixed with oreganum and spring onions) and rotisserie chicken. All of this is topped off with some butter lettuce. 

My meal plan for the week looks like this:

Breakfast: oatmeal cups and yogurt / boiled eggs and toast

Midmorning snack: fruit 

Lunch: salad in a jar

Mid afternoon snack: home made biltong and chive dip and crudités / fruit

Suppers:

Monday - beef stroganoff on buttered cabbage (from Raising Superheroes) which I prepared on Sunday.

Tuesday - bobotie and rice (freezer meal)

Wednesday - slow cooker Hawaiian Chicken and rice

Thursday - family dinner night at my in laws (and my mom-in-laws scrummy food). 

Friday - courgette spaghetti and mince

Saturday - braai and salad (the weather is supposed to be great again)

Sunday - roast chicken and veg

So that is my meal plan for the week. Other things on my "agenda": to replace sugar with xylitol, limit myself to 3 cups of coffee, TO DRINK A LOT OF WATER and to get back to gym.

Have a splendid week!

Until next time

XX-L

Spring: a new beginning

Sometimes life doesn't go the way we always plan. For the past 6 years I have been a stay at home mom and really happy with my life. At the beginning of this year, I decided to take control of my eating habits and started exercising (and blogging). Everything was going along swimmingly until winter hit....and I hit a wall. If you had asked me in February where I saw myself by September, I would have replied: "Ten kilos lighter, fitter and still a stay at home mom".In reality, where am I by almost the beginning of September? Back where I started in January....and fulfilling a new role as a working mom.

With this new role comes a WHOLE new routine and new challenges: time consuming daily commute, a desk job (my first one ever!), a full schedule in the evenings to spend as much time with my family as I can before bedtime and prep for the next day at work. When will I be able to fit in some exercise into this new routine? Healthy packed work lunches (and breakfasts)...Pinterest is a girls best friend. Weekends are there to get ready for the next week.

So, how am I going to balance my new busy work/family life schedule and exercise? Honestly, I don't know. Leaving home for work at 6am makes exercise BEFORE work difficult. We only get home at 6pm and then I want to spend time with Master J, Little Miss E and my hubby. It's very important to me that I am there for dinner time and to put them to bed...and by that time, the gym is closed. My only option is to walk for 30 min at the gym each morning from 5 -5:30am....a little bit of exercise is better than no exercise, right? And of course, with the weather warming up and it not being so soggy outside, our whole family can make a return to Root 44 parkrun - yay! As some added motivation, my sister and I have entered the 5km Gun run which is happening on the 11th of October. With that little challenge lying ahead of me, I will HAVE to make a concerted effort to get back to the gym and plan some fun-filled family fitness activites for weekends.

Sadly my new schedule does not allow me the time to continue exercising with Suzy or walking in the mornings with my walking buddies. I miss them dearly. Exercising in a group is so much more motivating than trying to do it on your own. Thank heavens for whatsapp groups so that I can stay in touch with these lovely ladies and we try to motivate one another through that.

I will also have to really watch what I put in my mouth. It is so easy to quickly pop out at lunch time for a take away or a piece of cake with that lunch time cup of coffee. Not only is it not good for the waistline, but the wallet suffers too. I am very fortunate to be working with some wonderful people, However, none of them have a weight problem....and they all love sweeties, cake and all things yummy. So I will have to learn to say no and put my blinkers on to what they are eating and focus on my healthy food. Thank goodness the weather is warming up, so it should be easier to get all that water in and eat lighter, fresh food.

Today I choose to celebrate all the changes in my life. I will look for ways to overcome the challenges and rejoice in all the GOOD things this change has brought.

Until next time,

XX-L

Weekly meal prep

The last while my anxiety levels have been through the roof. Everything seems to be out of control: I just can't seem to stay on top of the house work, there are toys lying EVERYWHERE, my kids seem to be moany and nagging all the time...the list goes on and on. And the fact that winter has set in doesn't help that bluesy feeling. The control freak / neat freak in me is FREAKING OUT which leads to emotional eating. So, in an attempt to gain control over the entire situation, I have decided to do a bit of meal planning and weekly meal prepping. I have done it in the past and it works brilliantly!

Sunday would probably be the best day of the week to do this, but for us Sundays are usually quite busy with family gatherings, church etc. My plan is to do all our meal prep on a Saturday. 

Being the Pinterest addict that I am, I headed over and searched for a bit of inspiration. Initially I only intended to prep our main meals but one seems to able to prep ALL your meals in advance. Below is a pin from www.peanutbutterandfitness.blogspot.com where she has prepped even her breakfasts in advance! How organised is that!?! 

The benefits of doing a weekly meal prep are:

Helps keep you within your budget.

You eat more fresh, whole foods and less processed rubbish. 

Minimizes food wastage.

Ensures correct portion control.

Limits temptation to head to the drive through on busy/lazy days.

Some foods that are easy to prepare in advance:

Snacking veggies / fruit

Hummus 

Salad greens

Lean proteins like chicken, fish (I would eat the fish meals first though, just to be on the safe side) and turkey

Grains such as brown rice, quinoa etc

Roasted veg

Hard boiled eggs

Overnight oats 

You'll need to invest in some good Tupperware (YAY! A trip to Plastics for Africa!) and set aside a day to do all the prep work and cooking. 

Make a menu plan of what you would like to eat each day - breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Have a look at which of these meals can be made in advance and either frozen or stored in the fridge. Write your grocery list and then put on your most comfy pair of shoes and hit the shops. Remember not to shop on an empty stomach to avoid being tempted to buy things that are not on your shopping list! 

Now, once the shopping is done, the chopping, baking, grilling and boiling can start. Portion your meals into each bowl. I have found it handy to label what is in each bowl and the date it was made. 

It takes almost the whole day from start to finish but the effort is totally worthwhile.

I recently read a quote that said: if you have good food in the fridge, you will eat good food.

 

So, on that note, I'm off to do some meal prepping and ensure I have only good food in my fridge. I'll post pics and more details of what I made on my next blog post.

Until next time, 

XX-L

Winter motivation

It's been a while since you've heard from me. At the beginning I was pumped up and ready to tackle the long road ahead.

After leading a sedentary lifestyle up to that point I saw quick results once I started exercising and eating right. As summer came to an end, the motivation to get up in the cold, dark and now wet mornings to exercise started to wane. The fact that I also didn't HAVE to get up because there was no one waiting at the beach for me to go walking also affected the motivation. It became easy to just kill the 4:30am alarm, roll over and go back to sleep. The chillier weather has also made it so much harder to eat correctly and drink enough water. I naturally gravitate towards the comfort foods when I'm cold. Who wants to drink water when you can have a nice cup of coffee and a rusk, right?

When I started, I promised myself I would not make excuses. I would own my mistakes and that only I could change my destructive lifestyle for the good. So I have decided to nip the winter wallow in the bud....NOW, before I am back where I started! 

I asked a few of my friends how they stay motivated to train in winter. 

My good friend, Lisa (who is an avid Adventure Bootcamper and fellow parkrun-addict) suggested putting out my gym clothes the night before or even sleeping in my gym clothes so that I can just get up and go in the mornings and keep warm. I have implemented this tip the last few days...and it works! So, thanks Lisa.

I also asked my trainer, Suzy. And this is what she had to say:

TRAINING DURING WINTER

                                                        

Biggest thing about training during winter is that it is emotionally A LOT harder than physically… Your main motivation should be the reasons WHY you NEED to train during the winter and colder months…

You’ve already put so much time and effort into training the last couple of months and to give it all up now because it is darker, colder and harder to get out of bed….the question is – IS IT WORTH IT??? The answer is without a doubt – NO WAYS!!!!

If you think about it:

• It is cooler so you can train twice as hard before you feel like you are over heating
• Your body uses more energy when you feel cold so you can burn more calories
• If you train during winter you will be fitter when summer start so you can achieve so much more in the summer to maintain your healthier, leaner body!!!

Unfortunately we automatically eat more during the winter to feel warmer, drink less water and more coffee/tea so we will have to do that little bit extra to keep the extra calories to turn into fat.

Comfort food looks a lot more appealing than a salad so we have to make sure we think HEALTHY and make the correct choices.

So in order to stay motivated during winter you have to focus on your end results – WHY did you start training in the first place????

Was it to loose weight, get fitter, feeling healthier, do more with your children, shape and tone or even all of them????

Now, ask yourself are you going to get closer or further from your goal by slacking during the winter???  Are you willing to start all over again in the spring??

 Surely you are not going to give up now….all the hard work, getting up early in the morning, watching your food intake the last few months, getting better and better at each walk/run you doing, getting stronger and healthier, being able to do more with your kids without feeling out of breath immediately, feeling better about yourself, fitting into a smaller pair of pants, old clothes feeling looser on your body!!!!  Was that all for nothing??? Definitely NOT, I am sure this is more than enough motivation to keep you going instead of starting ALL OVER AGAIN?!?!?!?!?

So the biggest motivation during winter should be – WHY DID YOU START?????

I am very grateful to have Suzy on my team this winter...motivating me and holding me accountable by waiting for me at 5am twice a week (in the cold, dark and wet weather).

 

As the old saying goes: "Summer bodies are made in winter". 

My winter training strategy:

• Never skip a day
• Drink enough water, no matter how cold it is!
• Research and implement healthy, hearty winter food
• Join the gym so that I can join my walking buddies again (have tried to avoid this one, but I think the time has come to cave on the resistance)
• Stay accountable by updating my blog more often
• "Invest" in winter training clothes/gear....I LOVE all the gadgets, the apps...all the things that give you feedback, stats etc.

 

Until next time,

XX-L

The week that was

WOW! Another week is gone...I cannot believe that we are almost into May.

This year is speeding by, which made me look at how far i have come since starting this journey in January. I know my weight hasn't changed much in the last few weeks (keeping in mind I'm on a scale detox, so I'm not really sure what my weight is doing) but I am a lot fitter than I was 4 months ago and I am trying hard every day to make the healthier food choice. I have dropped a pants size since I have started and I'm giving myself a few more weeks before I hit the shops for a bit of winter retail therapy, as most of my winter clothes are too big for me already.

This past week has been a rather challenging one. My mom landed up in hospital in the early hours of Tuesday morning with atrial fibrillation. This was the third time she has had such an episode and each time is just as scary, if not more, than the first. I lost my dad 14 years ago this month and I cannot imagine losing my mom too! Thankfully, the capable doctors at Vergelegen Mediclinic did a cardio version and mom was admitted for a few days for more observation and an angiogram, which thankfully showed no irregularities. With all the "excitement" and driving up and down of the past week, I missed a session with Suzy and relied heavily on the convenience of Woolies for dinnertime meals. By Friday I felt rundown, exhausted and my cold was still lurking, so when my alarm went off at 4:30am, the mind was willing but the body was weak...and I decided to have a sleep-in instead of going walking.

The hubby had a fishing competition to attend on Saturday, so I had decided that not to do parkrun this week. After missing my walk on Friday morning, I felt quite guilty and almost like something special was missing out of my day. So when a close friend sent me a message on Friday evening asking whether she could join me for her first parkrun on Saturday, I thought "Why not?". It would be a bit of a challenge, as I would have to take little Miss E along in her pram, which is not really suited for trail running, but I was up for the challenge.Master J was thrilled when I told him we were in fact going to do parkrun.

Saturday arrived and we were up bright and early and off to Root 44 we went to help celebrate their 100th event - what a perfect day for it, albeit a bit chilly to start with. We had a lovely walk through the vinyards and enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Even though we went at a snails pace, we finished the race and my arms got an extra workout from trying to keep the pram on course. But more importantly, I showed my children that we can have fun together while being healthy. And I now know that my pram can survive a trail run, so no more excuses of having to watch the kids when dad can't. 

After our walk I treated the kids to a pancake and indulged in a delicious coffee at the market. It felt so good being outside in the fresh air and sunshine and having catch up session with a special friend. What a great way to destress after a rather hectic week!

Here's to a happier, less stressful week of healthy food choices and lots of exercise!

Until next time, 

XX-L